downtown on film (continued)

(pentax k1000, fuji superia 400)

china retrospective: 2009

(all photos: canon 50D)

tees over trees over sun

no happy accident here. i actually tried for this one and was pleasantly surprised that it worked.

(holga 120N, fuji pro 400)

adaptive tennis

about a week ago e had her first tennis game. she was initially very shy, but quickly warmed up to the volunteers, who were so engaging. it seems she's found something new to love as she was ready to play again the next day. they offer this free once a month, and we plan on being fixtures at these events.

(pentax k1000, kodak ektar 100)

detour: a pasture along our way

it's interesting that when i first view my own film (particularly from any of the Holga rolls), i initially feel a bit unsure or cautious. it's like i am viewing them from the years spent using the dslr (aka the computer that records light rather than writing it onto film- and there is such a difference). i don't know what i am expecting, really. i only know that the longer i look, or the more i come back to the same shots that i originally discredited, the more i appreciate them for their imperfections. film is organic that way. you grow in love with its work, its surprises, and even the mistakes (that sometimes become happy accidents- do you see the horse in my daughter's face?). and there is a softness in the grain that is not achievable with my digital- at least not straight out of the camera as i prefer.

(all photos shot with the holga 135BC except the last 2- pentax k1000. film: kodak ektar 100- inspired to use by Astrid and Solve who shot much of their NY trip using the same)!

(pentax, fuji superia 400)

3rd round of chemo given today. my one wish? another christmas with him snuggled up close, snoring in front of the tree in the soft glow of lights and ornaments and dreams.

(pentax, fuji neopan 1600)

update november 26th: i just printed this and cannot believe how gorgeous the quality is- much better printed than transferred to CD (as this was) from the negative. richer, and though it still has these soft grays, there is more contrast to ransom himself. it's going up on a wall :)

thrift store jesus

(pentax, Ilford HP Plus 400)

paranoia agent

i'd prefer a totoro messenger bag for my cameras, but this works as long as i'm only carrying 3. yes, we are anime nerds too. and sometimes he's my camera caddy and gives me a break from hauling the equipment :o) he's the kindest person i know. i'm so lucky i will marry him one day.

(pentax, fuji superia 400)

holga, b&w

(ilford HP plus 400)

a pretty song (mary oliver)

From the complications of loving you
I think there is no end or return.
No answer, no coming out of it.

Which is the only way to love, isn't it?
This isn't a playground, this is
earth, our heaven, for a while.

Therefore I have given precedence
to all my sudden, sullen, dark moods
that hold you in the center of my world.

And I say to my body: grow thinner still.
And I say to my fingers, type me a pretty song.
And I say to my heart: rave on.

(pentax, ilford HP plus 400)

Sometimes I pray: Please don't talk.
Let all your doing be by gesture only.
Go on writing in faces and stone
what your silence means.

~rilke~

(pentax, fuji superia 400)

ransom as seen through the pentax

(pentax, fuji superia 400)

downtown digitial

(canon 50D DSLR)